Good and bad parenting.

Did I mention somewhere that I work as an interpreter? No, well it happens.
My line of work is putting me in touch with a lot of peoples misery. I do mainly medical stuff, sometimes Job Centers out of work assessments, so not a happy bunnies. But today I seen a follow up from something I did on occasion a year ago. A mental health case. I clearly remember this girl being in horrible state, and seeing her today – it’s a different person. It just shows that with right help, meds and therapy lives can be saved. She was so depressed a year ago that was unable to talk. Today she was much stronger and on a good way to recovery.
And every time I have a mental health case it’s staggering how much people get damaged by wrong upbringing. ┬áBy parents who are possibly not fit to look after a hamster, not only another human being. How fragile we humans are. Especially as a children. Children should be loved and cherished. I know as a parent how difficult it can be when your personal little monster drives you up the wall, but love for this monster can dig up levels of patience you had no idea existed. It is very difficult to accept the child as a separate person, because lets face it we try to bring them up in a certain way, the way we want them to be. But they are not us. They will have some traits that will be difficult to understand. maybe some things inherited from our parents, or other past relatives. Or maybe just plain and simple they will be them. And that is that. And our most important job as parents is to love them and protect them. But if we question the case of us being good parents, then we are good parents. Bad parents never question themselves. They are a God and law on their own. They are the ones who shout and swear at their children because thats their choice of communication method. Without a thought that every “you stupid….” is killing some little bit of that child self-esteem. And if the child is resilient enough to say “I will show you, what I am worth” then good for them. But if it’s not, then we will face whole host of problems. And depression and anxiety are only some of them.
I can only imagine how much it did cost my todays client to be able to say “I know my parents are not good people, but I choose to love them anyway.” I hope that my daughter will never say that. I will do everything what I can to help her to be person she will be happy to be. And I will love her unconditionally, always. And if I will have to criticise I will criticise the behaviour not her as a person. Because some weird and stupid things we do are just part of growing up. They don’t say anything about person ability to be a decent human. After all we parents are just the keepers of our children, until they are ready to go and face the big world, and it’s our job to prepare them to do it, the best we can.
But for those who got hurt growing up, by hands of those who should have protected them- there is always hope. I have seen it today in an attitude of a grown up child who refused to carry on being a victim of bad parenting.